And then there was those two crappy movies...... yeah sorry about that!

Yes... we all knew it would come,eventually, to this.But then again any discussion of horror films in any capacity 
always has to come down to the "Friday the 13th" films. Knowing that reviewing these films can make or break your opinions about my tastes in "Classic or Iconic Films" I really have gone through great lengths to take the film in with an open mind and through various viewpoints. Cleverly coming up with logical reasons why the films were taken in these directions, how they worked, and how they failed.

Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning(1985) -Starting with what I've been told is the absolute lowest point in the series' history, begins with Tommy Jarvis (the little kid from the fourth movie) all grown up and being transported from a mental institution to this half way house.  Here they introduce all the regular assortment of cast. The fat one, the pretty one, The jock, the Loser, and the sex fiend. This movie kind of  drags at first kill.The fat one pisses off the mean one and the mean one kills the fat one thus the high point of the movie comes and goes before we even get to the point(i use that term loosely). The local police and medical officials report to the scene to blah blah bloobloo and we get the feeling something is off here as upon viewing the body of fatty fatty fat fat(God i hate the fat kid) he casts a shifty glance menacingly somewhere off camera, and while we get an idea that this guy will have something to do with something somewhere down the line because the whole thing is so transparent(Fatty Deadshit is the ambulance drivers son) we as the audience don't see the backhanded result that bookends this movie. So with that out of the way all the folks we've seen so far begin to die one by one by either Jason himself or a Jason copycat,as the inter cut town officials and police speculate about , further sabotaging any chance of letting the movie keep it's rotten little trick secret, as the story limps along at an uninteresting and redundant pace.The story finally eeks to the final showdown of between "a" Jason and black Elliot(watch it and you'll see what i mean), the guy who gave Indiana Jones his hat and a woman who wears high-heeled cowboy boots in the woods,resulting in Jason falling from a barn and galling on a bed of spikes, thus revealing the so far indestructible killer as...Roy the ambulance driver from the fat kid scene who has taken it upon himself to become impervious to bullets,bulldozers and a myriad of injury without so much as a peep all the while masquerading as Jason Voorhees.Yep, this film does NOT have Jason in it but it exists in the Friday the 13th film series anyway, and although the film is hated universally,usually for only that reason, it is as a film a confounding mess that should be avoided at all costs.

Now in some fairness i can see what direction they were attempting to go with this by trying to go in a different direction and put in something fresh, but it was all handled so damn badly that if unless you can get past the pain in your head this movie and everything about it gives you you're never gonna see that. It's painfully inconsistent, ignores any preexisting groundwork or mythology that could easily be referenced but is not through what seems like pure laziness and is such a damn mess that it's central character(besides not even being it's ACTUAL central character)basically has no right to exist within the parameters the film portrays him within,but exist he does and furthermore without any logical explanation as to why an EMT with a smoldering grudge can withstand the punishment and beating he takes without so much as a groan.And,yeah yeah, the same could be said about Jason himself, but we're not talking about Jason,the icon of horror who we can't even to ourselves explain why we love him and regard him in such an iconic and endearing position. No we're talking about Roy the fucking EMT, being seen as Jason, being fought as Jason, surviving and killing and as far as we know until the last ten minuets being Jason,but he's not.He just isn't, and it's cheap and mean and we have to put up with a lot of crap to get a whole to get what we get.But i digress, ya get the point.So if you've found this helpful in anyway then stay with us as we review what seems to be the producers way of making it up to us for this turkey "Friday the 13th part 6:Jason Lives"coming soon